Strange

Dua hari lalu saya menonton video Tekotok atas perayaan 3 tahun mereka, dan video ini benar-benar hit hard. Video tentang Palestina yang rasanya merangkum berbagai rasa yang saya — kita — rasakan dalam 3 bulan terakhir. Allah, I couldn’t help myself to stop crying.

Recently I opened my Facebook, after a long time I didn’t open it. I wanted to see my friend's update, someone I admired, but couldn’t get any of it. Rather, I saw many of my old colleagues' and friends’ updates. I didn’t feel any joy, yet it felt strange.

Dunia tetap berjalan baik-baik saja, setiap orang masih dengan bahagia membagikan update-nya. I felt distanced and disconnected from their stories, like I didn’t care that much.

My main social media right now is only Instagram, and I always find out about Palestinian updates from it. I keep my followers on this platform to a small number. Initially, I didn’t even follow any of my friends, but my colleagues kept asking me to be sociable on this platform, so that’s it.

I always feel blessed — ok I’m crying again — to realize that Allah has sent me many precious friends — that I never expected — who remind me of Him, to the real world we live in right now and to the value of life, rather than material things or bragging about yourselves to be acknowledged by your followers (maybe). Those friends are the people I keep in touch with on Instagram, mostly my Architecture pals in college.

It’s devastating,
depressed,
painful,
powerless,
that you witnessed the genocide before your eyes and many miserable and injustice things happened around the world, but the world still working like nothing happened. The elite power couldn’t do anything to stop it, it was too scared for them to take any risks. On the other hand, some countries took risks to stand up for Palestine and they were attacked without getting any help.

Enough is enough. I’m so ashamed of myself. I feel so helpless and powerless. May Allah forgive me, forgive us, for our incapability to stop their sufferings. I can’t imagine how hard Rasulullah s.a.w. and other prophets lived were, they must endured the same hypocrisies of the people who rejected the truth.

I only have one big hope, ya Allah please free Palestine. Let them live the freedom with their full dignity and rights. Please make them happy.